Can you manifest sickness? The answer is yes. Here’s my story of how I turned sickness into strength!
Okay, this is a very vulnerable, very personal share, (which to be honest is a little uncomfortable) but I’m committed to being a coach who keeps it real and doesn’t perpetuate perfectionism or toxic positivity. At the end of the day, we’re all human, we all have highs and lows, and that my friends is the beautiful duality of life.
Some days things are flowing, we’re feeling good and on top of our game, but then you might find yourself on struggle street feeling like you’ve taken two steps backward. The truth is, at every new level there’s a new lesson… a challenge offered to you as an opportunity to reinforce your strength, develop your skills, and shed anything that is no longer serving you - so you can make the most of the next chapter.
I’ve recently come out the other side of a little sickness setback and here’s the full rundown of how I realised the underlying issues and used that awareness to realign with the right path.
Positive manifestation vs negative manifestation
Just so we’re on the same page before I dive into the real juice, here’s a quick note about manifestation: Just like we can manifest our dream house, career, or relationship… we can also unintentionally manifest shitty experiences, toxic relationships, sickness, and struggles.
This may be a hard pill to swallow because we usually default to blaming external factors rather than taking personal responsibility for our problems. Unfortunately, though, that is the victim mindset that keeps us stuck in the struggle! When we defend and deflect, we don’t have to face our own flaws or exert any effort to make our own changes. However, when you create space to go inward for the answers you can turn that pain into power!
My transition from sickness ⮕ strength
A few months ago when I first got sick I didn’t think much of it, I brushed it off as my body still adjusting to my new home in Bali. But then the sickness kept coming, I’d kick one bug and another would show up a few days later. I took days off when needed, and nourished my body with healthy food, fresh juices, and all kinds of vitamins. I was getting 7 hours of sleep, exercising in alignment with my hormone phases, and setting boundaries to create space for rest, time in nature, and catch-ups with friends.
I felt like I was doing everything right… To be honest, I probably had the best work-life balance I’d ever experienced. So naturally, I was damn frustrated “Why the hell do I keep getting sick!?”
After 6 weeks of relying on external healing methods that clearly weren’t working, I pressed pause, put aside my ego, and admitted to myself (as much as I didn’t want to) that maybe, just maybe, I am manifesting this sickness. So I went inwards to explore the emotional connection and root cause.
How emotions can impact your physical health
Here’s what I uncovered… I was indeed unconsciously manifesting these symptoms. Seems silly right, why would anyone manifest illness? (Trust me it’s more common than you would think!).
When you’re physically sick you generally receive more attention, love, and support right? Therefore sickness can manifest as your body’s way of helping you fulfill those unmet needs. It can also manifest to help you avoid certain fears like saying ‘No’ (giving you a “valid” excuse) or to protect you from potential ‘failure’, but we’ll be here all week if I dive into it all!
Here’s my story… when I was younger my parents were always working long hours, and coming home tired and stressed out, so they didn’t have much capacity to hold space and be present with me. However, when I was sick I got what I craved. Something similar resurfaced recently.
As a coach, I’m naturally the go-to support person, not only for my clients, but my friends and family too. However, because most of my days are spent on client calls where I’m always the one giving, I slowly became accustomed to this one-way dynamic and unintentionally reduced the space for myself to receive within my personal relationships.
Don’t get me wrong, If I need help I’ll ask. I’ve invested a lot into my own coaching support over the years and I have a solid support system, who I know will always have my back. But the more I built my own inner strength and tools to support myself and my clients, the less I felt the need to lean on others. Most of the time I love being the space holder because I genuinely love to help.
But recently I started to crave that feeling of being held… the kind of love, presence, and connection that makes you feel deeply seen, safe, and supported. It wasn’t until I experienced the recurring sickness and took time to explore the emotional cause, that I realised I was energetically blocking myself from receiving that kind of care within my romantic relationship.
My partner does go above and beyond to share his love with me, but for a while there I stepped into those ‘Miss Independent’ tendencies and wouldn’t soften long enough to let him step into his divine masculine to be my rock. Looking at the logical evidence, I knew I was loved, but my inner child was obviously feeling otherwise. So, my body referred back to the method I used in childhood and decided to ‘help me out’ by presenting an illness that would help me fulfill that need.
Luckily my adult self was able to catch on and shut that down! (a little late to the party, but we’ll let that slide ;). Once the unfulfilled need was realised consciously, the next step was openly communicating to my partner about my feelings, taking personal responsibility for my part in the situation, and asking for what I desired from him. We have great communication so this part was easy, we identified a few changes we could both make and we’ve already noticed a big shift in our connection.
From the victim mindset to taking personal responsibility
Now, my own personal work around this was reconnecting with my inner child, offering her what she didn’t receive from her caregivers back then. Showing her love, validating her feelings, and reminding her of how worthy and how wonderful she is. All it took was slowing down for a moment, tuning into her with meditation, and offering her what she needed until she felt safe and the emotions were able to melt away. When you finally stop to face the feelings, rather than fearing them, they usually fade away pretty quickly!
I also took time to shake out any stagnant energy from my body with movement. Trapped emotions in the body = Toxicity and tension, leading to all kinds of issues if not released! My movement methods always include dancing like a mad woman, getting out into the ocean for a surf, which is one of my favourite ways to cleanse my energy, and starting my mornings with a yummy yoga flow.
Now that things were feeling better in this area, I wanted to be clear that there was nothing else hiding away in the background and hindering my harmony. So I asked myself these questions “Is there anything else that feels off?”, “Where might I be out of alignment with my values or vision?”
Something came to mind immediately, an inner knowing that I’d been trying to ignore… Because admitting it meant I’d have to deal with a disappointing truth.
The next realisation…
That the assistant I recently hired, was a bad decision. On paper, she was perfect. Her experience seemed to tick all the boxes, and I was ready to go full steam ahead with a few projects. So after the interview and reading her testimonials, I quickly brought her on board.
Everything had been going so well in my business, I was operating from my feminine (with my ‘masculine’ systems helping me out in the background). I was feeling energised, and abundance was flowing in! But soon after bringing her on board, I noticed a shift. That old feeling of ‘force’ and ‘friction’ started to surface, reminding me of the days when I was stuck in my toxic masculine and eventually burnt myself out. It was actually week two of working with her when I first got sick.
After a few orange flags, I soon figured out that we weren’t quite on the same page, energetically. Call me crazy, but I could sense the chaos behind the scenes. I knew she was working with a couple of other coaches from around the world, so her hours were all over the place, and from what it seemed… so was her mind.
She wasn’t my first hire, so this time around I felt more prepared than I had ever been - clear intentions expressed, organised systems set, an information hub where she could find everything she needed, and the most important factor in my opinion - Open communication!
The teething period can be expected when you bring someone new into your business, so I wasn’t going to call it quits just yet. We had a conversation to reflect on what’s been working, what hasn’t, and what we could both adjust to support each other better.
At first, it felt like “Okay cool, we’re back on track”, but more time passed and I was still bothered by this underlying feeling of misalignment. Meanwhile, my sickness was getting worse and worse.
The root cause
When I pressed paused to look past the external factors a few things became clear.
The main reason I hired her, was to support me with the BTS creation of my Feminine Revolution program. However, she was very much operating in masculine hustle mode - which is the completely wrong kind of energy I want to be entangled with the FEMININE Revolution. Deep down I knew she wasn’t the soul-aligned assistant I was looking for, so why did I invite that kind of energy back into my business???
It was all because I was attached to launching a program by a specific date. That’s where I went wrong. I set some random date that didn’t offer the creative spaciousness I desired, a date that no one cared about but me, and a date that lead me to rush into hiring someone who was completely out of alignment with my values.
That decision was made in a moment when my old masculine programming resurfaced. The idea that we have to be constantly moving forward to the next bigger and better thing. I have done A LOT of work over the years to ditch the hustle and create a healthy balance with my masculine and feminine energy. But hey, we’re all human and sometimes we slip back into old patterns.
So yes, unfortunately, that silly decision put an unrealistic and frankly unfair expectation on myself. This led to feelings of pressure, rather than pleasure (the place I want to create from), and so of course this was going to attract more friction and unnecessary struggle. I stepped out of alignment and therefore my body manifested illness to make it very damn obvious, that this approach DOESN’T WORK!
My body was trying to tell me - “This is not the kind of business you have committed to creating. This is not how you want to live, work, or be! You've been there, done the whole burnout thing, and this is your warning so you don’t do it again!”
Getting back into alignment
The first step to realign - peacefully close that working relationship. When I did, It automatically felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, and a few days later, my sickness disappeared!
The second realignment step - reassess my priorities and expectations. What feels like a ‘should’? (something I really should let go of!) and what truly aligns with my unique vision?
I used to follow all of the typical success strategies that the ‘big business coaches’ teach, but the tunnel vision obsession with dollar signs, constant growth, arbitrary financial goals, and bro-marketing tactics, just doesn’t align with me. Although I have purposely unlearned a lot of this, I noticed that some of those ‘shoulds’ were sneaking back in and pulling me out of my feminine flow.
“I should be launching x times a year”, “I should be online every single day x times a day”, bla bla bla BULLSHIT!
My vision is holistic success, a soul-led business that creates a positive impact in the world, whilst providing flexibility, creative freedom, and balance to my own life. Appreciating abundance as so much more than money. Of course, financials are an extremely important factor, but what those other strategies always neglect is LIFE, having space, health, and energy to do the things you love, with the people you love!
That’s true fulfillment to me.
Whenever I catch myself in an internal conflict, here’s how I peel back the layers to make an empowered decision
Layer 1 - Ponder the true intention underneath this behaviour/decision/approach.
Layer 2 - Notice the feelings and emotions that arise in your body when you honestly admit this intention to yourself. Do you feel proud? Does your heart feel open and alive? Or maybe shame arises and a feeling of heaviness or constriction? (Hold whatever comes up with love, and without judgment)
Layer 3 - Question, what underlying narrative has been influencing you? That’s when the limiting beliefs usually come to light.
Layer 4 - Get curious about where that belief actually came from. Is it really truth or fact? Who gave it to you? Do they even have the mindset/life/business/relationship you desire? - How can you discredit and unsubscribe from this story? (This may involve deeper inner work with your inner child and a commitment to clearing the emotional baggage from past experiences before you can move forward)
Layer 5 - What does your higher self believe? Press mute on your ego for a second and listen to your intuition! Trust where your heart pulls, not what your head pushes.
Layer 6 - Reconnect with your WHY. Your soul-led passion and purpose. Remind yourself of what really matters to you!
Layer 7 - Explore this question, “What is required within me to embody my truth even more?” channel your higher self to figure out the next actions you need to take.
If you want to experience different results, you have to take different actions!
At this point, my higher self was calling for a reset, as much as I wanted to resist, I chose to surrender. The Feminine Revolution is something BIG, it’s a project on a whole different scale to anything else I’ve done before, and it truly feels like my life’s purpose. I’ve been so incredibly excited and itching to share this powerful creation with the world, but something inside was saying “Not yet, you’ll know when it’s time”.
So, I let go of that launch date, rebelled against the Instagram gods, and decided to tune out from the noise and back into myself. Opening spaciousness to create from my feminine, to trust in divine timing, and let things unfold exactly as they are supposed to… naturally, joyfully, and authentically.
To my human brain, it doesn’t always make logical sense, but my soul is guided by something bigger, and whenever I lean into the support of the universe, damn does it deliver!
But in order to receive, you must create space by clearing the ‘ick’ from your energy. Think Marie Kondo, spring clean kind of vibes, but for both your external and internal environment. This was my next priority, decluttering the dirt and dust in the background, and reorganising the systems that keep my mind clear for creative downloads to come through. As someone with ADHD these ‘masculine’ structures are so important for me to function and flow forward in my feminine.
Too much masculine = Burnout. Too much feminine = all pleasure, no progress. A beautiful balance of both is key!
How to raise your vibration by embodying abundance
The next priority - reclaim my radiance by re-introducing the rituals that fell away while I was sick. The practices that keep me connected spiritually, energised physically, and inspired mentally. Because, when you focus on the things that make you feel good, more positive energy flows your way! You’ve probably heard of the law of attraction right? Then you’ll understand that ‘like’ attracts ‘like’, everything is energy and what you attract into your life depends on the energetic frequency you are in. (Your vibe, really does attract your tribe, and a whole lot more!).
We are literally human magnets! So if you want to start manifesting magic instead of the mess, remember this… Purposeful prioritisation and personal responsibility is POWER. This is truly the essence of what this whole damn essay and a half is all about!
No more “I don’t have time for x” or “I can’t do y”... We all have time! We just need to use it wisely and prioritise what’s really important. Secondly, we can do ‘Y’ if we put in the effort to ditch the doubts, ask for help, or upskill!
There are two lenses through which we can see life. Look through number one and all you see is what you lack, what’s missing, and how far you have to climb (Scarcity lens). Look through number two and you see how far you have already come, how many blessings you have, and how much support and resources surround you (Abundance lens). The choice is always up to you. I’m sure you can figure out the best option ;)
Final words and takeaways
It’s been a few weeks now since I’ve recovered and recharged from my sickness setback and although it was frustrating at the time, now that I’m out the other side, I can honestly say I am so grateful for that experience. Another challenge, another opportunity to solidify my strength! Of course, it’s uncomfortable when you’re in the depth of it, but the storms never come to down us, they come to clear our path. (Remember this when you’re going through a tough time).
One of my past therapists used to challenge things I would say, and push back against my reasoning, I found it extremely frustrating in the moment! But one day I bit back and bluntly stated my opinion as if I was stamping my feet alongside it. She replied with a smirk on her face “Good! See you do have the answer, you do know what you want!”. She was testing me, to see if I’d be swayed by her arguments. She wanted to know where I really stood so she could support me to move forward in the right direction. This is exactly what the universe is doing when it throws curve balls our way! It wants to see if you’ll get distracted and run in the wrong direction or dodge and stay devoted to your truth. When you show dedication, the universe understands what you want and it will present you with the necessary resources, people, opportunities, and challenges to help you get there.
Now that my path is clear, I feel an even deeper sense of alignment with my values than ever before. An unwavering devotion to my mission, and making damn sure I deliver it my way! (Even if it goes against the grain or takes a bit longer than originally planned). I thought I was empowered and unapologetically me before, but now, it feels like I’ve unlocked a whole new level! (I’m probably at Olivia 5.0 at this point). More layers have been shed, so I can boldly step further into my truth, my authenticity, and power, to lead others in doing the same. Watch this space, exciting things are on their way!
I hope my openness today has helped or inspired you in some way. If you enjoyed reading this, I’d absolutely love to hear from you, send me a DM and let me know what resonated with you most!
Love, Olivia
xx
P.S - If you’re feeling inspired to give your own life a reset, so you too can reclaim your radiance, check out Burnout ~ Balance! My signature online course helping ambitious women go from overwhelmed to on top of their game and build a balanced life of health, wealth, and hustle-free happiness using the feminine formula for holistic success! Combining the menstrual/moon cycling method, mindset mastery, manifestation, and soul-led strategy so you can create a life of long-term fulfillment. Burnout ~ Balance also equips you with tangible tools (done-for-you systems) to support you in attracting more abundance and bringing your visions into reality with plenty of space for your well-being, loved ones, and pleasures along the way! Click here for all the deets!
Hey, I’m Olivia!
Certified NLP Practitioner, Life & Business Coach helping overwhelmed ambitious women, turn fear into freedom.
Weaving together the mindset work, spirituality, soul-led strategy, and systems - empowering you to create your own vision of success!
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The Feminine Formula for Holistic Success
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