Releasing ‘Perfection’ to express your authentic full-spectrum self on socials
Releasing the patriarchal pressure to ‘show up’ in a certain way, so you can embrace your authentic full-spectrum self and lead from the feminine.
Today I feel drawn to share something a little vulnerable…
Which is… my internal battle with ‘Showing up’ on social media… And what I remember when I disconnect from the digital world and reconnect with myself.
(If you’re someone in service, or you have a personal brand and life that is heavily woven with the online world, this read is for you!)
I gave up on trying to keep up with the algorithm years ago as I’m not willing to sell my soul for vanity metrics. I’m a quality over quantity kinda gal. So I often take little reset breaks from socials.
Even though a part of me feels bad for not ‘Showing up’ every day (silly I know!), creating regular space for my own mental clarity, without all the NOISE, has become a non-negotiable for nourishing my soul, my creations, my well-being and REAL LIFE!
Honestly, at times I feel quite repulsed from these platforms - with the censorship protecting specific agendas, constant war news, doomsday fear-mongering, hateful trolls, inauthentic facades, and sleazy money-obsessed pages…
It’s not always a healthy environment and although it’s good to know what’s going on around the world (If it’s not manipulative clickbait) and have a place to speak your truth and share your magic (if they don’t shadow ban you lol), sometimes you need to know when to disconnect and protect your own peace.
From that place, you can then contribute. Without being constantly caught up in the chaos.
My personal intention with the content I share has been to contribute to the ✨Light✨
(Realness, faith, love, unity, opening minds, elevating consciousness, supporting purpose-led people to embrace and express their magic)
Recently I took a little space to recharge my own light, so I could come back and share it will you all…
And during my social sabbatical, I was reflecting on my relationship with social media and I recognised that I still have slight tendencies to pressure myself to always show up consistently and in a certain way (with my high vibe coach hat on) and although I still disconnect, and share my vulnerabilities or imperfections, I have had to really feel the discomfort in order to free it, and work through the underlying limiting beliefs that were holding me back…
So I can remain in my authenticity and not get sucked into the ‘perfect’ presentation that my ego would prefer.
The beliefs that were hiding away in the back of my mind, didn’t even belong to me (Most of the time they don’t! They’re subtly programmed within our minds, through the media, social trends, and outside expectations etc) - in my case, it was residue from the ‘Hustling hyper independent boss babe’ trend (masculine disguised as feminine).
The ‘tough’ no feelings wonder woman, who’d never let others see her soften or sweat. Because the constant doing, achieving, pushing, and pleasing is her way of proving her worth.
Which was 100% me between 2016-2018, and it honestly led me to burnout & depression. That was a key turning point for me and one of the main reasons why I got into coaching - to help women free themselves from that forceful way of life and actually find true fulfilment!
But the reality is, it does take work, and unfortunately you can’t flip a switch and turn off years and years of conditioning. The journey is ever-evolving and I’ve been on it for a while! By now, I’d say I’m a seasoned traveller, and for the most part, I have overcome that masculine mindset, but I’m still human and every now and then social media sucks me back in!
And with the world we live in, including the ways we’re taught to work, what we’re taught to prioritise, and how we’re taught to slot ourselves into society’s structures - has always been, and still very much is catered to the masculine… So without going completely off-grid, it’s pretty much impossible to fully disconnect. But hey, that’s life and as WE evolve, so does the world around us!
And trust me, the work is worth it. Resisting the rat race, and refueling your energy is worth it. And so is setting boundaries with your online life, so you can enjoy more of your REAL life! It’s worth it not only for your own well-being, but for the well-being of our future generations too.
But anyway, in those moments where I feel the forcefulness sneak up on me, and that voice saying “shouldn’t you be showing up!” here is what I remind myself of… and I hope this serves as a comforting reminder for you too!
👉 In a world where we have been taught to hustle, know when your health needs to come first!
👉 Success is more than external achievements, dollar signs, and how your life looks online. It’s about how you truly feel, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. How much space you have to actually LIVE… to do the things you love and to be with the people you love most. Don’t get blinded by the ‘Bling’
👉 In a society where masculine structures have sidelined women’s wisdom for centuries… Remember that just because your body is built differently, it doesn’t mean you are any less! And wearing his shoes will not help you win the race, you’ll just end up getting hurt because they were not made for you!
As women, we are cyclical beings, and our bodies have their seasons. Like mother nature, all seasons are necessary for nourishment, renewal, health, and growth. Although it’d be nice to always be in ’Summer’ (Ovulation), Autumn and Winter (Luteal and menstrual phase) bring unique opportunities of their own. If you do embrace each season, you allow yourself to receive their gifts.
Personally, I strongly feel my energy turn inward whenever my late luteal phase invites me to slow down and come into solitude. And whenever I give myself space to surrender, and soften, I always have insightful reflections and am able to fully release what no longer belongs in my mind or my body. This offers so much mental clarity and replenished energy that supports me through the month ahead.
But sometimes I resist and strong-arm myself into ‘showing up’, as the high-energy, hard-working coach that’s there to serve, and spread positive vibes, even if my energy isn’t fully there (My ego telling me that I HAVE to lead in this one particular way, but my heart knows that’s bullshit).
My heart knows that a true feminine leader does not bypass her natural feminine fluctuations, or force herself into one flavour. But she does rebel against the patriarchal programming that was designed to pull her away from her inner wisdom.
She knows she’s magnificent, but she does not treat her body like a machine.
A true feminine leader whole-heartedly respects her body as her guide, and her garden. And when her garden is well-cared for, an abundance of fruits and flavours will be created to share with her community.
That came out all poetic (lol) but basically what I’m saying is; as a leader, when you choose to give yourself permission to rest, to disconnect from always having to be the giver, the guide, or the go-getter and you pour a bit more into yourself, you are teaching others that it’s not only acceptable but important for them to do the same (Even if they are a caregiver, coach, leader, or someone of service!).
This is authentic, healthy, HUMAN leadership!
As you embody the ebbs and flows, your extrovert, and your introvert, and ‘Show up’ as your full-spectrum self (or take a guilt-free moment where you don’t ‘Show up’!) you are contributing to necessary change within our community. Where we ditch the facades and fake “I’m fine” to reclaim our humanness again!
Your authenticity and your vulnerability, is helping to rewire centuries of collective conditioning and outdated constraints. As the ‘selfish’, ‘lazy’, ‘not good enough’, and ‘letting people down’ connotations that unconsciously come with the idea of slowing down for self-care need to GO!
Because Imagine a world where this was normalised! How energised, healthy, and supported we’d all feel. I’d bet a million dollars that mental health concerns, hormonal imbalances, illness and burnout statistics would at least halve!
So as I had to remind myself recently, I will offer you the same:
It’s okay to SLOW and not always go, go, go.
Fill your cup first and share the overflow.
‘Show up’ for you too.
And when you do ‘show up’ online, show up as you, the true you (Gawd damn please! There is a recession in realness and babe, your authenticity will bring your abundance!)
Cheers to fully embodied feminine leadership! Let’s pave a new way forward!
P.S. If you’d like to be a part of an uplifting community and supportive sisterhood that facilitates female empowerment, personal leadership, and professional advancement - The feminine way (Infused with a whole lot of fun!)… I’d love to invite you to join the ‘Feminine Revolution Membership’ (More like a movement!) Click here for more info
Hey, I’m Olivia!
Certified NLP Practitioner, Life and Business Coach helping overwhelmed ambitious women turn fear into freedom.
Weaving together the mindset work, spirituality, soul-led strategy, and systems - empowering you to create your own vision of success!
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